Forgiveness

- the intentional and voluntary process by which a victim undergoes a change in feelings and attitude regarding an offense, lets go of negative emotions such as vengefulness, with an increased ability to wish the offender well. (Thanks, Wiki!)

I've been seeing this image floating around facebook lately. I get the idea behind it, but I don't think it should be left so.... I don't know, stark.

We are not infallible creatures. There is absolutely no way that any of us have gone through life without hurting someone, at some point. If we think we have, we're just lying to ourselves. Some of us have said and done some pretty hurtful stuff, some unintentionally, others (maybe) intentionally. The truth is, we do awful things when we're scared, hurt, mad, ignorant, or even lacking confidence.

I remember in kindergarten, there was this little girl who looked different from everyone else. She had cracked, dry skin, no eyebrows, and she wore the kind of wig that really doesn't disguise itself well. I must have been all of 5 or 6, and had no idea why she looked so different. The other kids started making comments about how ugly she was, and me being the little meek follower that I was, I joined in. 

Not a day goes by that I don't think of that girl. As an adult, I know she must have been sick. As a mother, it saddens me to think of someone being as cruel to my son, as we were to that girl. It eats me up inside. Asshole doesn't even begin to describe my behaviour.

I wish I could go back and give her a hug. 

Just once.

Guilt from events like the one in kindergarten, compounded with teasing throughout the years, has made me a more empathetic person. That's usually how it works, right? We punch someone, they punch us back, and we realize "wow, that hurts. I better not punch them again, otherwise I'm getting hit back!" We learn there are consequences for our actions and behaviours. However, this doesn't mean that we happy glide through our adult years without fault. We still lose ourselves in the moment, and say or do hurtful things. It happens, and it will probably continue happening for most of us (you zen people who have reached enlightenment might be home free. Good for you.)

So, if you picked up a plate and threw it on the ground to see what happens next, only to realize "crap, it broke!", what would you do to make it right? You'd probably find some seriously strong glue, and carefully start piecing that thing back together. Especially if it was something important to you, or someone you love. I guess some might just sadly dump it in the garbage bin, but if you ignore the problem and just toss it away, it just festers and turns your insides sour. 

You might be wondering still what my point is. The point is the plate might be broken, but with a little time, patience and care, you can do your best to get the pieces back to where they were before. The plate will always have a memory of the break. It will never forget that you dropped it on the ground. It will have visible scars, but with proper care and treatment it will last a lifetime. 

We all have scars from the hurt others cause, but it's what they do to help heal you that makes all the difference in the world. 

Practice forgiveness, be accountable for your path, apologize when needed, love deeply, and laugh often. 

Life's just too short for all that other crap.